Ladies Night
by evoboo
Summary: A little drabble for MaliceUnchained, featuring chocolate, spirits, make-up and kissing.


'Exactly which part of the term 'girls night' did you fail to understand Hubie?' Dorothea pouted. She found it utterly inexplicable that he had accompanied Edelgard to their Professor's room and then had planted himself resolutely by the door with no intention of leaving.

'Her Highness' safety is...' He began imperiously.

'Oh, leave the poor man alone Dorothea.' Byleth spoke up, 'As long as he agrees to allow us to make him up and plait his hair, I see no reason why he shouldn't stay. If _I_ have to go through it - it's only fair that he should too!'

Edelgard had to bite the inside of her lip to prevent a very unregal giggle from escaping. She truly hadn't believed that her stalwart protector could become any paler than he usually was. Turned out he could.

'I hardly think that..' Hubert tried again.

'Well, I can't say that he is likely to make a particularly gorgeous girl - but I do love a challenge!' Dorothea cut him off with a wink. She took out her pale pink cosmetic bag and shook it threateningly in his direction.

'I am understanding that we must be dressing in our nightclothes too.' Petra said seriously, indicating the sensible pyjamas' that she wore. 'Must we find attire for Hubert too? Uniform is _not_ for bedtime!'

'Indeed - you are right Petra.' Dorothea's look was now thoroughly wicked. 'I am the closest to Hubies size, I guess.' She held up a thin, lacy scrap of fabric. 'Luckily I brought a few extra examples to see if I could get any of you ladies interested in something a little more daring.'

'What do you think, Bernadetta?' Byleth turned to the girl who was scrunched up against the wall, trying to make herself as small as possible.

'Chocolates!' The girl squealed as all eyes turned on her suddenly. 'We should eat chocolates now!'

'Not exactly what I was asking..' Byleth murmured.

'Please... _please_ make him go!'

'Ah.' Byleth turned back to Hubert. 'It appears you are making at least one of the ladies uncomfortable, which is the exact opposite of what 'ladies night' is supposedly all about.' She rose from her bed to take his arm firmly, her loose and rather short nightshirt riding up her thighs as she moved. Hubert was both blushing and scowling fiercely by the time she reached him.

'You have my word that her Highness will be returned to your care both safe _and_ relaxed in the morning.' Byleth's tone was unmovable. 'Take the night off yourself, Hubert. Do something fun and frivolous.'

'But..!' He objected.

'I will be checking that you are not stationed outside the door or the window too!' She warned him, propelling him outside rather ungently.

'I don't..'

'Goodnight Hubie!' Dorothea gave him a cute little wave before Byleth shut the door in his wide-eyed face.

'I am going to be in so much trouble tomorrow.' Edelgard lamented quietly.

'Pfft!' Dorothea smirked. 'Who is the Empress in waiting? You or him?'

'You need some downtime El.' Byleth added kindly. 'You have been looking frazzled lately. While I admit that I am unsure how make-up will remedy that, I do agree that an evening of relaxed activity will do you nothing but good.'

'Chocolate!' Bernie added with relish, having extracted herself from the wall now that Hubert was gone.

'I really shouldn't!' Edelgard's serious blue eyes took on a bright shine. 'However, in the spirit of the night, I will partake. Just this once.'

'Good girl, El.' Dorothea purred rising to get the box of confectionary that she had sourced by truly mysterious means. Byleth took the kettle from the fire to fill the teapot.

'Tea? Seriously ladies.. have none of you ever _done_ girl's night before?' Dorothea's pout was back. 'I think we need to set some ground rules here.' She added, getting out a huge bottle of something that looked rather potent from the bag that she had brought along.

'Oh... Oh no... I can't..' Edelgard began warily.

'You can and you bloody will!' Dorothea replied. 'Just a tiny bit.' She crooned persuasively opening the bottle and sniffing at it approvingly.

Edelgard's eyes appealed wordlessly to Byleth.

'I agree with Dorothea actually. I have kinda missed my after-battle pick me ups.' Byleth grabbed the offered spirits from a grinning Dorothea and took a hearty swig. 'The secret to drinking is knowing the point at which warm and relaxing becomes too much.' She added. 'It is a skill that everyone should learn regardless of their station. I assume you attend formal dinner's and the like El.'

Edelgard nodded.

'Well, how do you manage with the wine at those functions?' Byleth asked.

'I don't partake.' Edelgard replied a little stiffly.

'You are definitely missing a trick there then.' Byleth has unconsciously taken up her lecturing pose. 'You have the benefit of being a beautiful and poised young woman, El. Regardless of who you are, people _will_ underestimate you because of that, and you can use that to your advantage.'

'How will drinking help me out?' Edelgard took the bottle that Byleth offered to her and raised it to her lips carefully.

'Oh... Oh... I know!' Bernie raised her hand as if they were in the classroom. Byleth nodded towards her.

'Well,' Bernadetta blushed a bit at the sudden attention, but her enthusiasm carried her on. 'It's like when we are on the battlefield, and someone rushes at you, thinking you are the weakest link and looking to put you down easily. It's best to feign the weakness they are expecting right up until they are committed then _'BAM' _\- as soon as they are in your face you kick the living shit out of them, and they never even see it coming!'

'Yes!' Petra exclaimed punching the air.

Edelgard's shocked face lasted all of a few moments before giggles overcame her.

'Where on _earth _did you learn that Bernadetta?' She managed to ask.

'The Professor of course!' Bernie grinned happily.

'I don't think I actually called it 'kicking the living shit outta them'...' Byleth muttered.

'Um... yes, you did!' Bernie laughed.

'Goddess... I fail as a teacher.' Byleth shook her head.

'Is wise.. wisdom.. Professor.' Petra consoled. 'Bernie is just like those... ah... eating flowers she likes so much.'

'Eating flowers? You mean herbs?' Dorothea asked, puzzled.

'I think she means the carnivorous plants.' Edelgard snorted, her giggles making her sides ache. 'Bernie is indeed just like one of them.' She nodded agreement to Petra. 'I have noticed that many varieties are pleasing both in appearance and smell, and yet they should not be underestimated.'

'I smell nice?' Bernadetta looked pleased.

'Just like a carnivorous plant!' Edelgard agreed, falling to her side on the bed, her laughter wracking her body.

'Now isn't this just wonderful!' Dorothea beamed.

As the evening wore on hair was braided and styled, make-up applied, and the ladies relaxed together as their bottle of spirit diminished, and their chocolates were devoured.

'There are just _so_ many handsome Knights here.' Dorothea sighed as the conversation inevitably turned to romance. She was currently applying liberal amounts of colour to Petra's lips, somehow managing to blend a concoction that matched her hair and tattoo perfectly.

'This is how... no... _why_ you are speaking to many different ones?' Petra inquired curiously.

'Well, darling, you can never have too much interest.' Dorothea smiled. 'A nice kiss or two here and there can brighten up anybody's day!' There was a quiet noise that sounded a little like a growl from Byleth, who was seated on a bedding-mat on the floor in front of the hearth, allowing the girls to sprawl over her bed. 'You don't approve Professor?' Dorothea raised a brow.

'I don't care one way or another,' Byleth noted. 'To me, however, the act seems a little pointless and certainly not agreeable. Is it not unbearably wet and squelchy?'

Edelgard's eyes went huge, and it was Bernie that fell into giggles this time.

'Don't tell me you have _never_ been kissed, Professor.' Dorothea's eyes started to sparkle.

'I have never felt the need.' Byleth shrugged.

'Oh my, well we must certainly remedy that!' Dorothea murmured, her expression almost predatory.

'Do not tease so Dorothea.' Edelgard chided. 'I have never been kissed either, except in official capacity or by family when I was young. There is no shame in that.'

'Of course not dear,' Dorothea agreed immediately, 'However, we really _should_ address our Professor's thought that it is an unpleasant experience. It is a skill just like any other, and we ladies should be able to take responsibility to ensure that we know what to do, and what we like.'

'I like to kiss.' Petra said seriously. 'Learning requires practice.' She added.

'Don't bother asking me.' Bernie mewled when Dorothea looked for her input. 'I am unmarriageable! Unkissable!'

'Oh, fie, child. You are adorable and would be a pleasure to kiss, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool!' Dorothea sounded a little angry.

'Really?' Bernadetta spread her fingers so that she could peep out from behind the hands she was holding to her flaming face.

'Definitely.' Dorothea nodded. 'Is there anyone that you...'

'No!' Bernie squealed.

'You learn by practice.' Petra repeated earnestly. 'If not with persons then with your hand!' She waved her's energetically in Bernie's face.

'Have you actually kissed a person?' Dorothea laughed.

'No.' Petra admitted. 'I would be liking to try.' She added sadly. 'Should we teach it, Dorothea?'

'Well now, you're keen!' Dorothea smirked. 'If you wish, I would be glad to provide some instruction.'

'I really don't think that is appropriate!' Edelgard said weakly as Dorothea turned to put down the make-up she'd been holding. She looked to Byleth for back-up.'

'There is no harm if they are both willing.' Byleth shrugged. 'Any learning can be useful, after all.'

'Well said Professor.' Dorothea smiled. She turned back to face Petra and reached out to caress the girl's cheek. 'Be sure to tell me to stop if you need to.' She murmured.

Petra brought her lips firmly to her friends with a great deal of enthusiasm.

'Slowly dear.' Dorothea pushed her away slightly. 'While there are many people who like it rough and determined, it is always a good idea to start out slow and build up. Like that battle analogy. Be gentle and then kick the shit out of your partner once they are committed!'

'I see.' Petra allowed Dorothea to take the lead this time. It was protracted, the more experienced girl laying kiss after sweet, tiny kiss, gentle featherlike touches to the hair and face, breathlessly murmuring encouragement as Petra finally closed her eyes and allowed herself to fall into the sensations.

'Oh!' Bernadetta was leaning carefully in, following every move, looking like she wished she were able to take notes. Edelgard, on the other hand, was looking away and blushing heavily.

Eventually Dorothea ramped up the pace, startling Petra with a quick and playful pull on her bottom lip. The kiss deepened as Petra moaned in appreciation, her hands coming up to wind into Dorothea's luscious hair.

'Wonderful. Yes that must be nice.' Bernadetta was muttering as she brought her hand up to her own lips and gave it an exploratory muss.

Dorothea had pulled back from Petra and was smiling at Bernie's attempts. 'Would you like to try properly Bernie?' She asked.

'Oh.. well... I think so. Maybe.' The girl replied shyly.

'I wish to practice more. I am learning a lot.' Petra raised a brow at Bernadetta who blushed fiercely.

'Okay!' She whispered as Petra turned to her and tried to recreate what Dorothea had done. In a very short time they had both exploded into giggles.

'I'm not sure our teeth are supposed to bash together like that!' Bernadetta could barely breathe through her laughter.

'Much practice needed!' Petra agreed happily.

'See Professor. It isn't all that bad now is it?' Dorethea noted, pleased to see the rare and warm smile on Byleth's face as she watched the younger girls at play.

'Indeed not.' Byleth agreed. 'You make it look almost appealing. I think you have done well, Professor Dorothea.' Her face became slightly wistful. 'Sadly I feel that I am not really a personable person.'

'No!' Edelgard suddenly burst out, her face still red. 'Really Professor, you do yourself a grave disservice, and I will not allow it. Many, many times I have seen you reach out with a kind hand or a pat for your students - offering reassurance or praise. It is _always _appreciated.'

'El's right.' Dorothea added. 'You put people at their ease and make them feel special. That is a rare gift.'

Byleth looked skeptical.

'It is just a true shame that nobody does the same for you.' Dorothea continued sincerely. 'Well, apart from Claude sometimes, although you seem not to notice.' A speculative light began to grow in her eyes.

'It is only that Claude had no respect for public propriety.' Edelgard sniffed.

'Maybe so.' Dorothea agreed. She grabbed hold of the bottle of spirit and raised a toast. 'To learning to kiss!' She exclaimed with a grin.

~0~

It was late when the ladies finally settled down to sleep, Petra next to Byleth by the fire and the other ladies sharing the bed. She had only just managed to drift off, after ensuring that everyone else was safely asleep - when she was disturbed by someone moving silently in the room. She looked up carefully and watched Edelgard wandering towards the window.

'Can't sleep?' Byleth made the girl jump violently when she crept up behind her and whispered into her ear, grabbing her shoulders gently to prevent her from falling.

'I'm sorry if I woke you.' Edelgard whispered back. 'My sleep is never very deep, and sharing with others is something I am unused to.' She had pulled the curtain back a bit to allow the silvery moonlight to flood the room. It made her own pale hair glisten beautifully, Byleth noticed.

'You have a lot of concern my lady.' Byleth was still holding onto her shoulders reassuringly, and the girl melted back a bit into the warmness of the body behind her.

'Tonight has been wonderful.' Edelgard agreed. 'I sometimes forget who I am when I am not being the person I am expected to be.' She chuckled sadly. 'I'm not even sure that made sense.' She admitted.

'I understand.' Byleth's voice was very soft. 'Who you have become has been molded by circumstance, but is not the whole of you.'

'I suppose you _would_ understand.' Edelgard agreed.

'If you do not allow yourself a little pleasure now and then, you will break your Highness.' Byleth turned the girl gently to face her. 'I would not want to see that happen.'

'I could say the same to you!' Edelgard challenged, her eyes unreadable.

Byleth laughed quietly. 'I fish.' She pointed out. 'You should join me sometime.'

'Urgh.. fish are smelly!'

'That they are.'

'I want to thank you, Professor... Byleth.' Edelgard's voice was so quiet it was barely audible. Her small, elegant hand reached up to touch the Professor's cheek hesitantly. 'I truly value your kindness and your support. Your care.'

'I have no need for thanks.' Byleth was still as a stone, unmoving. 'I simply wish that I could take some of the burden you bere and allow you more time to be free.'

'Perhaps one day I might be able to live a life that is about more than service to the land and people. It will be a long a painful road though.' Edelgard came to her tiptoes, clutching gently at Byleth's nightshirt for ballast so that she could reach to her ear. 'Will you be by my side Byleth? Will you continue to help me as much as you have so far?' Her whispered words in Byleth's ear were desperate.

'I will.' Byleth agreed simply.

Edelgard dropped back down but kept her hands buried in Byleth's nightshirt. 'I believe you.' She said wondrously.

They silently appraised one another for what seemed like an eternity, then with sudden speed Edelgard brought both her hands up to frame the Professors' face and bring their lips together with a tender awkwardness. Byleth's arms encircled Edelgard's waist and pulled her closer allowing her lady the freedom to explore as she willed. They were both startled by a choking sound from outside the window.

'Hubert?' Edelgard muttered, drawing a little away from Byleth, but not breaking out of her arms.

'Hubert.' Byleth agreed with a sigh.

'Damn. I really am in trouble tomorrow.' Edelgard moaned.

'Well, to my mind, since we are both _already_ in trouble - we may as well make it _worth_ our telling off.'

'We do both need practice.' Edelgard said piously.

'And ladies nights are supposed to be a bonding experience.' Byleth agreed.

'Goodnight Hubert.' Edelgard said firmly to the window pulling the curtains back together.


End file.
